It's five past four now and I feel sick with dread.
He's woken up and been awake for nearly an hour. Fluctuating between confusion but mostly lucidity.
He's now got a productive cough but can't quite cough it up so swallows it again.
He's telling Neda to teach me farsi and telling her off not for teaching me and taking initiative.
He started pulling his oxygen mask off a bit but seems to have settled now.
What a horrible terrible time. I can't bear being in this room, it makes me feel sick to my stomach but I can't leave because he sometimes asks for me and I couldn't bear it if he did that and I wasn't here
Nana sat with him for a few hours earlier so we could have a break. He said he didn't want her to come but then seemed pleased that she was there. We sat in a room down the corridor not daring to go back in. It helped so much to have some time away even though it wasn't long. I kept popping back in to see how he was.
I wish so much Warren was here to sit with him. He can cope with things like this better than me. I am falling apart, he is calmer and also understands this process better. If he was here u could leave him with dad and rest somewhere and still feel confident that he was ok. I know he wouldn't leave him. He is coming tomorrow but I feel that might be too late.
I can't believe it might all end so soon. This is heartbreaking. I don't feel like if it happens I will ever recover.
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